How do be the boss of your emotions?

It is far more important to be able to express emotions than you may realize.

Emotions are your emotional response to a situation. You can access important knowledge and insight when you are in tune with your emotions.

• decision-making
• success relationship
• Everyday interactions
• self-care

Although emotions are important in daily life, they can also impact your emotional health.

Look at the effect of your emotions. Not all emotions can be bad.

It is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed from time to time. This can happen when something amazing happens or when something bad happens.

How do you tell if there is a problem?

Feelings that are frequently out of control might lead to:

• Conflicts in friendship or relationship
• Problems with others
• Trouble at school or work
• An urge to use substances to manage your emotions
• Emotional or physical outbursts

Take some time to reflect on how your uncontrolled emotions affect your day-to-day life. This will help you identify problems and track your progress.

Do not try to impose repression, but regulation.

It is impossible to control your emotions using a dial. Imagine if you could manage emotions in this manner.

They shouldn’t be left running at their maximum speed all the time. They shouldn’t be turned off completely, either.

You suppress emotions and prevent yourself from feeling or expressing them. This can be done consciously (suppression) or unconsciously (“repression”).

Both can lead to mental and physical symptoms.

• anxiety
• depression
• Sleep issues
• Muscle tension and pain
• stress is difficult to manage
• Substance misuse

You must not ignore your emotions when learning how to control them. Healthy emotional expression requires balance between overwhelming emotions, no emotions, and all emotions.

Identify the emotions you are feeling

You can start to regain control by taking a moment and assessing your mood.

Let’s say you have been dating someone for a while. You tried to plan a date last week but they refused. Yesterday you sent a second text saying “I’d love to see you soon.” Could you please meet me this week?

A day later, they finally replied: “Can’t. Busy.”

You suddenly feel extremely upset. You hurl your phone across your room, kick your desk and then forget about your thoughts.

Ask questions to interrupt your work flow:

• How am I feeling right now?
• Why did I feel this way? They brushed me aside with no explanation.
• Is there another explanation for the situation? They may be prepared to elaborate more when they are able.
• What can I do to deal with these feelings? (Scream, throw things, or send a rude text.
• Are there better ways to deal with them? Ask if everything is okay. Ask when they are free next. Take a run or walk.

You can change your initial reaction by considering other options.

This response may not become a routine immediately. It will get easier to remember these steps and be more efficient with practice.

Accept all emotions

You might consider downplaying your emotions if you want to improve your ability to manage emotions.

If you panic after hearing good news, or if you are unable to find your keys or you have hyperventilated, it may be helpful to remind yourself to “Just calm down” or “It’s not that much of a deal, so you don’t need too freak out.”

This does not invalidate your experience. This is a huge deal for you.

You can be more comfortable accepting emotions as they arise. Feeling more comfortable with intense emotions can help you feel them fully without reacting in an unhelpful way.

You can practice accepting emotions by thinking of them as messengers. They are not “good” and “bad”. They are neutral. They may bring up unpleasant feelings, but they still provide valuable information that you can use.

Keep a mood journal

You can uncover disruptive patterns by writing down or typing up your emotions and the reactions they provoke.

Sometimes it is enough to trace your emotions through your thoughts. You can reflect more deeply on your feelings by putting them onto paper.

This helps you to recognize when certain circumstances, such as family conflict or work problems, can make it more difficult to control your emotions. It is possible to identify triggers and come up with more effective ways to manage them.

Daily journaling is the best way to get the most out of it. Keep a journal close by and write down any intense emotions. Note the triggers and how you reacted. Your reaction may not have helped. Keep a journal so you can explore other helpful options in the future.